'Aman, 'Az Maveth

2007-02-01T16:58:00.000-06:00

FOLLOW ME

Ok, well Nicole and I aren't officially married yet, but May 5th isn't far away, so we are making our website dangit! Follow the link to our blog! http://nathanandnicole.wordpress.com

2006-11-10T11:34:00.000-06:00

THE STARFISH POEM

Once upon a time there was a wise man
who used to go to the ocean
to do his writing.
He had a habit of walking
on the beach
before he began his work.

One day he was walking along
the shore.
As he looked down the beach,
he saw a human
figure moving like a dancer.
He smiled to himself to think
of someone who would
dance to the day.

So he began to walk faster
to catch up.
As he got closer, he saw
that it was a young man
and the young man wasn't dancing,
but instead he was reaching
down to the shore,
picking up something
and very gently throwing it
into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out,
"Good morning! What are you doing?"
The young man paused,
looked up and replied,
"Throwing starfish in the ocean."
"I guess I should have asked,
why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out.
And if I don't throw them in they'll die."
"But, young man, don't you realize that
there are miles and miles of beach
and starfish all along it.
You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely.
Then bent down, picked up another starfish
and threw it into the sea,
past the breaking waves and said-
"It made a difference for that one."

2006-10-31T15:35:00.000-06:00

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

I as an American, citizen and soldier, keep these words in my mind along with the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States. My ancestors were immigrants of Irish decent, unhindered in gaining citizenship to the U.S. except by traveling here. May it be that we as Americans never forget to keep our borders open to those who would approach them. Let us always show care and compassion to those who come to our country to live and be part of the community we call our nation. May we never as a country deny people anywhere the ability to come here and experience the natural rights of men, such as equality, liberty, and even life. If we squelch those who desire these things, it will follow that we ourselves, along with what we say we represent, will fade into a growing darkness of cruelty, intolerance, hatred that pervades too much of the world.

2006-10-24T10:30:00.000-05:00

The Broken Cross
My heart is filled with sadness over the breaking of the cross. The Church in America has allowed societal stresses to break the unity of the Church in Christ. We have fallen into the course of the church that was at Corinth in the middle of the 1st Century, which was known for diversity of culture, wealth, commerce, and immorality; sound familiar? In that day, the Corinthian society was riddled with competitive individualism, an attitude that spilled over into the church which led to feuding groups that developed around rival leading figures and thoughts. 1 Corinthians 1:10,13a " I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. Is Christ divided?" Where do we allow our faith to rest? Is it on God's power or in the faith of men? May it never be on the latter, but only the former. So many of us continue to be mere infants in Christ, allowing divisive arguments to separate the body of Christ. Are we not all fellow workers under God? Let us teach Christ and him Crucified, not simply relying on eloquence of speech or superior wisdom of the world, but rather on God's wisdom and the Spirit which He has given us. Let us as fellow guardians in Christ encourage one another in unity of the spirit to grow in all spiritual wisdom and knowledge holding fast to the faith we profess, namely Christ. Paul emphasized to the Church at Ephesus the same, urging them to live a life worthy of the calling which we have received. We have not made every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, one hope, one faith, on baptism, on God, our Father who is over all and through all and in all. My hope is that we will no longer live as the world does but we will rest in the grace of God concerning all of this bearing with one another in love.

2006-10-18T18:53:00.000-05:00

When the morning breaks

When the evening fails

I will write Your word upon my heart, oh Lord

When the fires burn

When the rain comes down

I can feel Your grace flow through me

Without a sound Nothing is certain, but I'm certain of You

Pull back this curtain, let Your light in this room

And all that's true, I find in You

The more I drink of Your word

The more I thirst for You

When the world dissolves

And the sun just flickers out

I will write Your word upon my heart, oh Lord

When the stars crash down

At the end of the age

I can feel Your touch

As You wipe my tears away

Building a sorrowful loveliness

Out of the darkness

Out of this furnace

I find You

2006-10-04T09:30:00.000-05:00

The Father's Song

I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all
The Father's song
The Father's love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It's written on my heart

Heaven's perfect melody
The Creator's symphony
You are singing over me
The Father's song
Heaven's perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you're singing over me
The Father's song
I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all
Sounds above them all
The Father's song
The Father's love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It's written on my heart

It's Heaven's perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you're singing over me
The Father's song
The Father's song
The Father's love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It's written on my heart
It's written on my heart
The Father's song
The Father's love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It's written on my heart
It's written on my heart
You sing it over me
Father

2006-09-24T23:39:00.000-05:00

Engaged

We saw God's beauty in nature and in our relationship. With God's guidance we decided to make the latter as permanent as the former. Praise God from whom all blessings flow

2006-09-20T08:23:00.000-05:00

Smiling

I like to read and I love to spend time with Nicole Rhodes, my girlfriend. As you can imagine, we like to read together since this satisfies both of the desires which our common between us. We just began reading a new book, Cat and Dog theology. It is an easy read for anyone interested in it. Yet I write for more then the reason of wanting people reading this post to read that book, it is because of the scripture that the book brought to mind that excites my heart. The first is Romans 15:8-9 "For I tell you that Christ became a servant to the circumcised to show God's truthfulness, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarchs, and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy." The second is Revelation 4:11 "Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power,for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created." These verses absolutely thrill me because their focus is not on me, but on God and remphasizes the importance of everything being for the glory of God, even His son's death on the cross. I hope that as the day breaks this morning that you are able to resound with me in glorifying the Lord, singing loud, "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise"

2006-09-08T16:05:00.000-05:00

6 months

Nicole Marie Rhodes has made the past half-year of my life absolutely amazing. I am blessed by God to know her and be in a relationship with this incredibly strong young woman. Thank you Nicole!

2006-09-04T09:49:00.000-05:00

Psalm 18

I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise, and all my enemies don't know where to face.

The cords of death have entangled my feet I cry to You, and from Your temple You heard me and rescued me.

The earth quaked and the mountains shook, smoke rose, the clouds parted with just one look

He reached down from His Heavenly home He drew me up from the water's deathly hold.

So I'll sing, Hallelujah, Hallelujah praise the Lord!!!

He rode down on the wings of the wind The darkened clouds were like a canopy around Him.

He shot His arrows and He shattered my foes With bolts of lightning they all became exposed

He brought me out to such a spacious place He saved me 'cause He loves me and He's full of grace.

And I'll be trying till the that I die to hold on tightly to His ways and never live in lies.

So I'll sing, Hallelujah, Hallelujah praise the Lord!!!

You, oh Lord, keep my lamp burning bright My God turns my darkness into light.

With my God I can scale the wall With Your help I win a war and not even fall.

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and lets me stand on heights high above my fears

He makes the path broad beneath my feet so my ankles don't turn and ruin me.

So I'll sing, Hallelujah, Hallelujah praise the Lord!!!

2006-08-14T08:17:00.000-05:00

A Consecration

NOT of the princes and prelates with periwigged charioteers

Riding triumphantly laurelled to lap the fat of the years,—

Rather the scorned—the rejected—the men hemmed in with the spears;

The men of the tattered battalion which fights till it dies,

Dazed with the dust of the battle, the din and the cries.

The men with the broken heads and the blood running into their eyes.

Not the be-medalled Commander, beloved of the throne,

Riding cock-horse to parade when the bugles are blown,

But the lads who carried the koppie and cannot be known.

Not the ruler for me, but the ranker, the tramp of the "road,

The slave with the sack on his shoulders pricked on with the goad,

The man with too weighty a burden, too weary a load.

The sailor, the stoker of steamers, the man with the clout,

The chantyman bent at the halliards putting a tune to the shout,

The drowsy man at the wheel and the tired look-out.

Others may sing of the wine and the wealth and the mirth,

The portly presence of potentates goodly in girth;—

Mine be the dirt and the dross, the dust and scum of the earth!

Theirs be the music, the colour, the glory, the gold;

Mine be a handful of ashes, a mouthful of mould.

Of the maimed, of the halt and the blind in the rain and the cold—

Of these shall my songs be fashioned, my tales be told.

2006-07-24T11:45:00.000-05:00

The Sin of Omission

It isn't the thing you do, dear,

It's the thing you leave undone

That gives you the bitter heartache

At setting of the sun.

The tender work forgotten,

The letter you did not write,

The flowers you did not send, dear,

Are your haunting ghosts at night.

The stone you might have lifted

Out of a brother's way;

The bit of heartsome counsel

You were hurried too much to say;

The loving touch of the hand, dear,

The gentle, winning tone,

Which you had no time nor thought for

With troubles enough of your own.

Thoes little acts of kindness

So easily out of mind,

These chances to be angels

Which we poor mortals find~

They come in night and silence,

Each sad, reproachful wraith,

When hope is faint and flagging,

And a chill has fallen on faith.

For life is all too short, dear,

And sorrow is all to great,

To suffer our slow compassion

That tarries until too late:

And it isn't the thing you do, dear,

It's the thing you leave undone

Which gives you the bitter heartache

At the setting of the sun.

2006-06-10T17:02:00.000-05:00

LDAC

June 12th to July 14th

2006-06-02T13:55:00.000-05:00

Oil

2006-05-29T11:52:00.000-05:00

Memorial Day

All Gave Some - Some Gave All

2006-05-18T23:47:00.000-05:00

Mission Oaxaca

Situation: The Mountainous region of Oaxaca has a church that needs the assistance of the Grove Church to conduct a medical clinic and proceed with a construction project for their new church building.
Enemy Forces : Weather, Satan, and cultural differences
Friendly Forces: The Grove Church, Angels, oh and God himself
Attachments/Detachments: Local Ministry officials

Mission: To Glorify God. The Grove Church has organized a platoon size element of 21 elite members to begin a two part offensive to conduct a medical clinic and finish a construction project while participating in and encouraging the local fellowship of Christians.

Execution: The Group will be broken down into two sections, the first will be responsible for the medical clinic while the second will conduct construction operations at the main base.

Alpha Section: This section will proceed into the mountainous region of Oaxaca by local transportation and foot. Alpha will arrive no later then 0600 on May 21, 2006. The group has approximately 6 days to conduct operations, until departure no later then 1200 May 26, 2006.

Bravo Section: After primary transportation from Huatulco, this section will immediately begin survey and construction operations necessary to the successful construction of the buildings needed by the local mission agency. Bravo will begin operations no later then 0600 on May 21, 2006 and finish construction projects no later then 1700 May 26, 2006.

Service and Support: Due to the sensitive nature of the transportation and insertion schedule this material has been classified Top Secret. Please see Project DoD login and send an email to Nathan.O'Brien@us.army.mil for verification of clearance.

Command and Signal:
A. Command
1. The Grove Church, Fayetteville Arkansas is the location of the main units headquarters
2. The SL is location in the city of Oaxaca, Mexico
3. Succession of command will be Platoon leader, Assistant Platoon leader, Alpha lead, Bravo lead, then by rank.
B. Signal
1. Noise and light discipline will be maintained so not to cause undue notice to our presence
2. Methods of Commo will be by secure two-way radios. Security Channel 23, frequency 340, variation 22.
3. Emergency will be communicated by radio or red smoke
4. Challenge password is He is risen, He is risen indeed
5. Running password is Acapulco

2006-05-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

Prayer

I am confronted with the concept throughout scripture that God wants us to persistantly seek him in prayer. In Matthew 7, Luke 11 and Luke 18 it is our consistant coming before God and requesting of him that accomplishes something. Seeking, knocking, asking of God until at last He shows us, opens the door, and gives us what we have been asking for. I believe there is an incredible power in prayer that I have yet to recognize and fully enjoy because I have not attempted to truly come before our Lord and rely on Him in His faithfulness to accomplish the desires he has placed in my heart. With all of this I balance in my mind the scripture in James that speaks of asking those things that God would have us ask for as opposed to those desires which come from our flesh. I earnestly seek to and pray to God in this through Christ, knowing that my heart is above all else deceitful, I must be sincere and continue to allow God to work in my mind the knowledge of His will that comes through the transformation in my heart by His grace. Let us pray about all sorts of things and at all times, letting our vision and sight pass through the light of God before we receive either. In all of this I continue to grow and know more and more that I must first seek the counsel of the Lord.

2006-05-05T22:26:00.000-05:00

By Don Balla

I've told you my stories and sung you my songs.
You've heard my guitar play.
And since I may not see you for a while
There's just one more thing I must say.

All that matters in this life below
Is not who you are, or how much you know.
All the world's knowledge can make one smart,
But the difference is made in the heart.

Sometimes you stumble and sometimes you fall,
Sometimes you're low as the floor.
But since you must rise and start all again,
I'll sing you this chorus once more.

All that matters in this life below
Is not who you are, or how much you know.
All the world's knowledge can make one smart,
But the difference is made in the heart.

If you succeed in reaching your star,
And feel that you've come a long way,
Remember your friends who are back down the road,
Remember this song that I play.

All that matters in this life below
Is not who you are, or how much you know.
All the world's knowledge can make one smart,
But the difference is made in the heart.

2006-05-03T08:20:00.000-05:00

Love is enough

LOVE is enough: though the World be a-waning,

And the woods have no voice but the voice of complaining,

Though the sky be too dark for dim eyes to discover

The gold-cups and daisies fair blooming thereunder,

Though the hills be held shadows, and the sea a dark wonder,

And this day draw a veil over all deeds pass'd over,

Yet their hands shall not tremble, their feet shall not falter;

The void shall not weary, the fear shall not alter

These lips and these eyes of the loved and the lover.

2006-05-01T12:08:00.000-05:00

How do we find the lasting transformation from the chain shackled life that we have had and live the good and free life that we have in Christ? It has come apparent to me one of the roots of our inability to find complete freedom from the chains of sin is rooted in our own selfishness. There is piece of our hearts that is so empty, so broken, and so hurt that we find it impossible to give this part of our lives to anyone, even over to our savior Christ. Until we address with this internal self-centeredness or selfishness, we cannot honestly seek to deal with the problems around us that we have a desire to change. We want peace instead of war, good instead of evil, and justice instead of wrongful punishment. Until we have peace in our own life, good in our own life, and do justice in our own life how can we begin to work in a way that will perpetuate this in the world? Of course I am not saying that we will ever be completely perfect until Christ's redemption of our bodies, but we can seek to change, through the grace of God, ourselves and from this hope in Christ spread joy and love. We have to be the change we want to see in the world. If we are the stagnant pond, the water of life not moving and coursing, then we can never truly expect lasting change. We need to recognize and embrace the moments God calsl to us where we know deep in ourselves of our own brokenness, even though it is a painful awareness. To first change a problem we must realize its existance and in doing so we take the first step under God to rest in the possibility of chage He can bring. If we were to stay in that moment of transformation with the awareness brought from this realize instead of covering it over with another activity or some other thought, what might we find? I believe we would find our need and willingness to begin that process of change. The bible speaks of of spiritual transformation, the hope of the gospel is the hope of real transformation in our own life right now; the possibility that we can have deep and fundamental change in our life or growth in God. Sanctification, the process at which we are fundamentally changed to be more like Christ. Paul called this process by the greek word morpho, the same word used in reference to the forming of embryo in a mother's womb. He uses a similar word, Metamorpho, in Romans 12:2, referring to the process of a Caterpillar turning into a butterfly. If we took time to scan over the last 24 hours of our own life, scene by scene, seeking to be guided by God to see the things we haven't been able to recognize, namely the evidence of God's presency with us, how would we be motivated to change? It is true that we cannot bring about our own transformation through spiritual disciplines, these are not a way of making anything happen in our life, what they do is put us in a position in front of God in humility. It is from this place of humility and longing for intimacy that we can throw ourselves around God's feet. There is no other place that I would rather be.

2006-04-29T14:15:00.000-05:00

Finding that place of thought

The place where we see what we have wrought

Looking back across the land

Seeing in part in what we have had a hand

A hopeful heart looks to the light of morning

Still another see in the sun a sudden warning

In the silence both continue in their thought

While the first continues to seek the sought

So much goes untold

The story continues to unfold

What one thought on once

The other knew it only in resonance

Was it good fortune?

Just as Shakespeare said the same question

So Certainly not

This changing of hearts was like a cast lot

As the falling of rock in an avalanche

Or in lightning striking a strong tree's branch

So sudden, so unexpected, the force comes

And after the melody of sadness nature hums

In a way the breaking of a heart is the same

The cracking of the solid, the dowsing of a flame

The love which was considered eternal

Now finds itself completely aberrational

2006-04-29T14:12:00.000-05:00

Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

2006-04-17T17:42:00.000-05:00

Where Angels Fear to Tread

if it wasn't for your mercy

if it wasn't for your love

if it wasnt for your kindness

how could i stand?

if it wasnt for your cleansing

if it wasnt for your blood

if it wasnt for your goodness

how could i stand?

yet i find myself again

where even angels fear to tread

where i would never dare to come

but for the cleansing of your blood

with you there is forgiveness

and therefore you are feared

Jesus its your loving kindness

that brings me to my knees

and i find myself again

where even angels fear to tread

where i would never dare to come

but for the cleansing of your blood

in the beauty of your holiness

here in the beauty of your holiness

2006-04-10T10:40:00.000-05:00

Tears

Psalm 6:6 - "I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears." I am learning to say along with the Psalmist here and with so many other writers of God these familiar words. I cry out before the Lord to save me from myself, from the sin that is within me. As Paul says in Romans 7:18,19, "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." This is the reason for my derision and crying, that I would no longer act as I do but would rather act as I so desire to act, glorifying God in all that I do. I am anxiously await the day when I will be at home with God my savior. Hierusalem, my happy home, Would God I were in thee! Would God my woes were at an end, Thy joys that I might see! It is because of this future hope and joy that I have in Christ Jesus that I can say the words written to Philippi, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:24,25) In all of this I consider myself to be a servant to others, not to promote myself as Lord, but rather Christ, and myself as servant for His sake. I recognize the only way that I will ever be able to do what is right and glorify God is by His provision in my weakness. To have said this in word before, but to be able to confess in now in my heart is a wonderful thing. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. "( 1 Peter 4:11) I look forward to that marvelous day when I will be able to stand before God and answer the question of why I am here and say to Him, "Lord, where else would I rather find myself but before thee forever?"

2006-04-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

Reflecting

An idea crept into my mind just a moment ago as I was readying in Ephesians 5. Paul states to the Church at Ephesus, "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offer and sacrifice to God." The part of this verse that really struck me as so bold was the idea of imitating God. In essence, just as children try to follow the example of their parents, we also take the lead of God. It was pleasing to God that Christ would die for our sins through His love for us and in the same way I am encourage to love others as Christ did. "We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all " and "It was the will of the Lord to crush him; He has put him to grief" (Isaiah 53:6,10) both clearly state that God wanted this to happen. In Christ's suffering, a two fold meaning was met, the outpouring of God's wrath and a wonderful act of obedience to the Father. Furthermore the write of Hebrews states in Hebrews 2:10 " In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering." Not that Christ was not perfect but rather the 'wholeness' of his purpose was accomplished through His suffering, the fulfillment of His righteousness. I realize more and more, by looking to the suffering of Christ and other believers I can begin to see a slight bit of what God's purpose in suffering is. As the writer of Hebrews says in better words then mine own, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have on who was tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. "(Hebrews 4:15) And I believe also because of this Christ can sympathize with us in our suffering.

2006-03-26T10:45:00.000-06:00

New Orleans (Again)

God blessed a group of students from John Brown University with the oppurtunity to go down to New Orleans and work inside the Saint Bernard Parish over Spring Break. With the direction of Str8Way Ministries (http://www.str8way.com) and under the umbrella of HillTop Resucue (http://www.hilltoprescue.org/), the group from John Brown was able to De-Muck around 25 houses throughout the week. The de-mucking process is basically a cleaning out of an enitre house, leaving the studs, foundation, roof, and siding intact, but removing all of the material destoryed or pulluted by the flooding. It was awesome! Christ gave us all many oppurtunities to share with people the joy that we had in serving and working. Suffice it to say again it was AWESOME! Through daily devotions, meals with fellow workers, and most of all the work itself, God was everpresent and ever helpful every moment. God did a lot. A lot through us and a lot more through His spirit. The work was hard and we all felt tired at times, but Christ maintained our high spirits. Check my Facebook for more pictures.

2006-03-17T06:40:00.000-06:00

In the in Betweens

Gonna read aloud familiar words
And listen for truth that I never have heard
Gonna open up to possibilities
And not be afraid of where they are leading me

Cause I've grown tired
Of the end
Being justified
By things that I pretend
Are worth the price
That I have paid
That are costing me today

It's not just the end
Or where we begin
It is in the in betweens
Slowing down
Learning how
To find the life in moments like these

Gonna get the phone and make the call
I will say the words I have been putting off
I will visit my enemies
And offer them the love that was given to me
Because I believe
That Jesus died

So that we
Would have eternal life
But not only beyond the grave
But eternally today

So before this day ends
And another begins
I will live the in betweens
Slowing down
Learning how
To find the life in moments like these

2006-03-09T20:59:00.000-06:00

A Pain"less" Hell

"He jests at scars who never felt a wound" - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

What would life be like without the existance of pain? Would my view on pain change if I was unable to fell pain at all? Perhaps those who have the most experience with this type of life would those with Hanson's disease, which is also known as leprosy. The nerve cells that safeguard the body through messages of pain are destroyed or damaged. The resulting insensitivity to one's environment leads to an unknowning self-abuse and self-destruction. Everyday activites that I take for granted could cause damage over time that I would not even notice. Wearing new shoes, playing the guitar, or even mopping the floor. Perhaps in the same way that there is value in physical pain, there is also value in physiological pain. Pain and suffering are exclusive feelings, one can be felt separate from the other. Do my mental/emotional pains work in a similar way to my nervous system? Do the emotions of fear and guilt work for some benefit to me. These may work as a warning system to my life in the same way pain work. One of my friends in Beijing spoke to me once about the concept of crisis in the Chinese language. There are two seperate characters that both describe the same word crisis, one denotes a danger; while the other oppurtunity.

"What is it, therefore, that goes on within the soul, since it takes greater delight if things that it loves are found or restored to it than if it had always possessed them? Other things bear witness to this, and all are filled with proofs that cry aloud," Thus it is!" The victorious general holds his triumph: yet unless he had fought, he would never have won the victory, and the greater was the danger in battle, the greater is the joy in the triumph. The storm tosses seafarers about, and threatens them with shipwreck: they all grow pale at their coming death. Then the sky and the sea become calm and they exult exceedingly, just as they had feared exceedingly. A dear friend is ill, and his pulse tells us of his bad case. All those who long to see him in good health are in mind sick along with him. He gets well again, and although he does not yet walk with his former vigor, there is joy such as did not obtain before when he walked well and strong."

"Everywhere a greater joy is preceded by a greater suffering." -- St. Augustine of Hippo, Confessions

2006-03-06T22:14:00.000-06:00

Why Pain?

Pain is seen as the one gift that no one wants. It serves a purpose physically speaking, keeping us from touching a match or perhaps a sharp blade. The complexity of our body's ability to perceive the difference between touch and pain is amazing. Our hands are sensitive enough to feel the distrubution of pressure and the pinpoint of a needle, one as feeling the other as pain. Moreover, our feet are less sensitive then our hands, which makes sense seeing as the two serve completely different functions. Furthermore, the more the pain network, or our nervous system, is used and exposed to the outside environment the more refined it becomes. In the concept of God's creation, how does the unique system allow us to operate better? Would we be so responsive to certain things if there was not any pain? If pain did not 'hurt'? Does the nervous system somehow reflect the wisdom of a creator caring for his creation? The problem arises in the fact that pain is unpleasant in the worst sense and can't be turned off.

"How much reverence can you have for a supreme being who finds it necessary to include tooth decay in His divine sustem of creation? Why in the world did he ever create pain?"

"Pain?" Liutenant Shresskopf's wife pounced opon the word victoriously. "Pain is a useful system. Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers."

"And who created the dangers?" Yosarian demanded. "Why couldn't he have used a doorbell to notify us? Or perhaps one of his celestial choirs? Or a system of blue and red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead?" Joseph Heller, Catch 22

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" - Job 2:10

2006-03-03T23:51:00.000-06:00

Pain & Suffering
Page 2

Concerning the evidence of pain and suffering, how do I and others react to it?

-Anger Against God
-Resentment towards those not in similar suffering
-Growing sense of faithlessness
-Bitterness
-Doubt
-Unbelief when prayers have 'failed'

Are these reactions Wrong?

"Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels — welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in thewindows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not 'So there's no God after all, ' but 'So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer." C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

In pain do I feel like him? Though I have perhaps not felt the gravity as he had, I have felt God's abscence at times, yet again his comfort during another period. Have I mispercieved why there is suffering and its purpose? Am I to be placed along with other American Christians when the late German theologian Helmut Thielicke said, “They have an inadequate view of suffering.” Can I in pain hear the Lord saying, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weeakness."? There is no human experiece that creates the thought so much of why this? If I was to as why do we have pleasure, it would not be recieved with the same weight as pain, because pain is different somehow. Do we want to know if the answers are not easy? If we can't understand "right now" do we shy away from trying to understand at all? To be taught through time and trial, why are we so afraid to as the hard questions and find the answers that I know are evident before us all.

2006-03-01T17:27:00.000-06:00

Pain and Suffering

It has taken me awhile to get this organized. Church, School, National Guard, and R.O.T.C. have kept me more then busy. What I will say over the next series of postings is what I have found, by the grace of God and through the wisdom He provides. I consider all I know as I write this.

Hebrews 13:3 "Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. "

Colossians 1:24 "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I do my share on behalf of His body, which is the church, in filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions."

The persistent, ever-present, never-fading, always-growing problem of Pain.

I consider a dear friend of my family who passed away my freshmen year. You can ask me His name sometime. He was a war veteran. It was during His time in the service that he acquired an infection that would not be fully revealed until the last year of his life. The infection basically ate away the lining around his bones and then continued to destroy his body systematically. These were some of the answers given to him for his suffering:

-Reflect on what God is trying teach you, God would not have you suffer if there wasn't something wrong

-Take encouragement, ignore/avoid the pain and rejoice

-If you have real faith, God will heal you

-Adversity is the oppurtunity to witness

Which of these was he supposed to be learning or doing? Was there another he was missing? How would I explain the pain? Considering the errors of these, How do I speak to those I know have suffered? I.E. Do I approach and tell my father th reason why he had to give his mother C.P.R. as the poisonous gases she had breathed in earlier that day tore through her body till she eventually lay lifeless in his arms, when he was only 17? Do I tell him why God had his first child die through a miscarriage at the end of pregnancy term? Why Does God allow such pain?

As Schaeffer puts it, "And too often the Christian defense sounds like a red faced, foot shuffling, lowered head apology."

The questions stands: Why?

-Dresden

-Tokyo

-Hiroshima

-Somalia

-Rawanda

-Cambodia

-Nazi ruled Germany

-Auschwitz

-Russian Prison Camps

-Manchurian Biological/Chemical testing grounds

-Sokoch

-Buna

2006-02-01T06:45:00.000-06:00

IN the hour of my distress,
When temptations me oppress,
And when I my sins confess,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When I lie within my bed,
Sick in heart and sick in head,
And with doubts discomforted,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the house doth sigh and weep,
And the world is drown'd in sleep,
Yet mine eyes the watch do keep,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the passing bell doth toll,
And the Furies in a shoal
Come to fright a parting soul,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the tapers now burn blue,
And the comforters are few,
And that number more than true,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the priest his last hath pray'd,
And I nod to what is said,
'Cause my speech is now decay'd,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When, God knows, I'm toss'd about
Either with despair or doubt;
Yet before the glass be out,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the tempter me pursu'th
With the sins of all my youth,
And half damns me with untruth,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the flames and hellish cries
Fright mine ears and fright mine eyes,
And all terrors me surprise,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the Judgment is reveal'd,
And that open'd which was seal'd,
When to Thee I have appeal'd,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

2006-01-31T07:24:00.000-06:00

The New Jerusalem HIERUSALEM, my happy home,
When shall I come to thee?
When shall my sorrows have an end,
Thy joys when shall I see?

O happy harbour of the Saints!
O sweet and pleasant soil!
In thee no sorrow may be found,
No grief, no care, no toil.

There lust and lucre cannot dwell,
There envy bears no sway;
There is no hunger, heat, nor cold,
But pleasure every way.

Thy walls are made of precious stones,
Thy bulwarks diamonds square;
Thy gates are of right orient pearl,
Exceeding rich and rare.

Thy turrets and thy pinnacles
With carbuncles do shine;
Thy very streets are paved with gold,
Surpassing clear and fine.

Ah, my sweet home, Hierusalem,
Would God I were in thee!
Would God my woes were at an end,
Thy joys that I might see!

Thy gardens and thy gallant walks
Continually are green;
There grows such sweet and pleasant flowers
As nowhere else are seen.

Quite through the streets, with silver sound,
The flood of Life doth flow;
Upon whose banks on every side
The wood of Life doth grow.

There trees for evermore bear fruit,
And evermore do spring;
There evermore the angels sit,
And evermore do sing.

Our Lady sings Magnificat
With tones surpassing sweet;
And all the virgins bear their part,
Sitting about her feet.

Hierusalem, my happy home,
Would God I were in thee!
Would God my woes were at an end,
Thy joys that I might see!

2006-01-29T12:34:00.000-06:00

Jeremiah 20:9

But if I say, "I will not remember Him
Or speak anymore in His name,"
Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
And I am weary of holding it in,
And I cannot endure it.

2006-01-27T06:57:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 40:6-8

A voice says, "Call out."
Then he answered, "What shall I call out?"
All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.

The grass withers, the flower fades,
When the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.

2006-01-24T23:04:00.000-06:00

Psalm 147:3-5

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
He counts the number of the stars;
He gives names to all of them.
Great is our Lord and abundant in strength;
His understanding is infinite.

2006-01-24T07:25:00.000-06:00

Job 9:8-10

Who alone stretches out the heavens
And tramples down the waves of the sea;

Who makes the Bear, Orion and the Pleiades,
And the chambers of the south;

Who does great things, unfathomable,
And wondrous works without number.

Job 38:31-33

"Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades,
Or loose the cords of Orion?

"Can you lead forth a constellation in its season,
And guide the Bear with her satellites?

"Do you know the ordinances of the heavens,
Or fix their rule over the earth?

Amos 5:8

He who made the Pleiades and Orion
And changes deep darkness into morning,
Who also darkens day into night,
Who calls for the waters of the sea
And pours them out on the surface of the earth,
The LORD is His name.

2006-01-23T22:15:00.000-06:00

Genesis 12:3

And I will bless those who bless you,
And the one who curses you I will curse
And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed."

Exodus 19:4-6

You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings, and brought you to Myself.

Now then, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be My own possession among all the peoples, for all the earth is Mine;

and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.' These are the words that you shall speak to the sons of Israel."

Psalm 67

God be gracious to us and bless us,
And cause His face to shine upon us-- Selah.

That Your way may be known on the earth,
Your salvation among all nations.

Let the peoples praise You, O God;
Let all the peoples praise You.

Let the nations be glad and sing for joy;
For You will judge the peoples with uprightness
And guide the nations on the earth. Selah.

Let the peoples praise You, O God;
Let all the peoples praise You.

The earth has yielded its produce;
God, our God, blesses us.

God blesses us,
That all the ends of the earth may fear Him.